oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize