why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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