Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
