I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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