So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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