the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
