Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
