VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
