5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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