It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
