My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
