the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
