Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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