Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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