And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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