This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just invented taco cereal.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
