I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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