U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
