she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
They took my balls.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
