Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize