i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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