ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
