I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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