Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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