is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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