Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
