That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
