it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
