I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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