I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
smell my finger.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
