He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
ok first of all what the fuck
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
