Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I will be naked everywhere
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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