i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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