Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
