That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize