I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
