If i come over, it means nothing
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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