Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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