she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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