my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
