I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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