But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize