Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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