turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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