I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
