Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
