ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
