also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
