i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
