So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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