her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
