I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
should my penis look like a turkey
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize