worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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