Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
