She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
