Cold hands, warm shart.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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