It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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