I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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