You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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