So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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