How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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