my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
