is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
